Guest Post: Santa Claus declares Grins, “The Official Beverage of Happy Holidays.”Posted: December 14, 2011
Ho, ho, ho, and Merry Christmas out there, Grins fans.
Santa Claus here. The folks at Grins Enterprises were kind enough to let me do some guest blogging as my big night approaches.
We here at the North Pole received a special delivery last week. Cases and cases of bottles with green-and-white labels on them showed up on the loading docks, just south of the reindeer stable.
We weren’t quite sure what to make of the delivery–in all honesty, the elves had been expecting a shipment of drums to help complete their Let’s Rock Elmo dolls–but we unwrapped the bottles and gave them a try.
When I saw “Grins” printed on every single bottle, I knew this was the start of something good. You see, grins are the whole reason for my round-the-world trip each year at Christmas. They’re the only reason I keep lugging this heavy bag of toys down and up billions of chimneys every Christmas Eve. I just want to see grins on the faces of the boys and girls whose wishes I’m granting.
Then I opened up a bottle and tasted it. I still can’t figure out whether Strawberry Kiwi, Grape or Citrus Punch is my favorite, but as someone who has traveled the world and sampled the cookies, milk, and other culinary delights of many a household, I can tell you, this is good stuff.
The clencher, though, came when Mrs. Claus wandered over to inspect the bottles. She’s been on me about making sure my belly doesn’t go from jolly to obese, and she’s constantly worried about how much sugar goes into the elves’ little bodies.
When she saw that Grins is only 50 calories per 8-ounce serving and contains no artificial colors or flavors, she demanded on the spot that I empty the refrigerators in our home and in the elves’ dining hall of all the sugary sodas and high-sugar juice drinks we’d been serving.
“We’re going to stock only Grins this Christmas,” she said.
Now, I’m not going to lie to you, some of Mrs. Claus’s dietary orders have been met with much grumbling around here (Don’t even mention the “wheat grass Christmas” of 2003.). But this was the rare instance where her demanding nutritional standards and our exacting palates aligned.
Grins has made for a harmonious holiday season here at the North Pole, and I know it will please many of the girls and boys whose houses I’m planning to visit very soon.
So without further ado, I’d like to declare Grins The Official Beverage of Happy Holidays.
Merry Christmas one and all, I’ve got to sign off now, many an X-Box to wrap up around here.